Mowing the Lawn

Some days I wake up and think, "What would be the most productive thing I could do today?" My brain thinks of several options and while I consider them, I think of how my kids fit into that "productiveness" and whether or not the kids make my efforts "counter-productive". There are so many things that need to be done inside my house, but those are things I continually procrastinate (dishes, laundry, clutter clean up, vacuuming, dusting, etc.)  Plus, if I am at home and inside, most likely I will turn on the tv for my Boy. And then I feel guilty, because I want him to watch it for hours and therefore avoid the headache of arguing with him.

So I look outside and realize it's been a week since the lawn has been mowed. Perfect! Grubby clothes come on, sunscreen for me and the kids, and off to work I go! (it feels good to say that sometimes)  I like mowing the lawn for a few reasons:

1. We get OUTSIDE, in the sunshine, soaking up vitamin D, and get ourselves moving around.
2. My Boy has much more to do and play with. I usually give him a squirt bottle of water and let him loose. Often, he will follow me around and squirt my back while I mow--which is great on a hot day!  He also will wander around the yard, play with toys, play on the swingset...whatever his little heart desires!  He feels like he's outside with me, but I don't have to just stand there pushing him on a swing (not my favorite thing to do).
3. My baby Girl gets a change of scenery. I put her in her bumbo on the porch (in the shade), and for quite a while she'll just watch me mow or watch her big brother run around.
4. The lawnmower is LOUD--this drowns out any whiney voice that might come at me, and mutes the crying so it's not so annoying. (somehow, whining is NOT music to my ears...isn't that shocking?)
5. It's a mindless enough task that I can do it, and totally be thinking of other things, and it still looks good when it's done.
6. I get such a HUGE sense of accomplishment for having taken on such a long task (a couple of hours usually). So nice to be able to think of something significant to say if anyone asks "What did you do today?"(lots of times all I can answer is "got out of bed and fed the kids.")
7. Every time I mow, I think about how dead the yard was when we moved in, and how far it has come. Makes me smile to think that I am caring for something that is surviving, growing, and becoming better with time.
8. I feel like I get a workout because the crummy, old, held-together-with-zipties-and-bolts lawnmower really works my muscles. If it hadn't been free, I would just chuck it in the trash! But it still works, and I have figured out how to get it going without having a meltdown tantrum on the front lawn (it wasn't pretty to see a grown woman freaking out about a lawnmower). And the grass catcher is a workout on the arms too. More trips to the garbage can than I even remember.

My Honey is willing to mow the lawn, but really I think he would rather not. Since it gives me so many benefits, not to mention helps pass the long hours of the afternoon, I take on the task when I can.  He can't figure out why it takes me so long to do--he can have it done in less than an hour. It takes me longer because I'm more meticulous about it. I want it to look good when I'm done, not just shorter than it was before. Today I even went over it twice--but that's because the memory of mowing the lawn when I was growing up was going over and over in my mind the whole time. My dad would say "We mow the lawn 2 directions--you can do it any direction you want, but one of them has to be diagonal." So today, I mowed diagonal also. And wow. It just looks SO good to me. :)

And now I am exhausted. But it was totally worth it.

Ahhhh.....satisfaction achieved. :)

I'm tired....

I'm tired.
I'm tired of always being late.
I'm tired of clutter in my home.
I'm tired of endless stacks and boxes and piles of paper.
I'm tired of my Boy always telling me what to do.
I'm tired of doing dishes.
I'm tired of finding stains on my shirts.
I'm tired of not ever making it to the gym for whatever reason.
I'm tired of my house not being decorated.
I'm tired of sweeping my floor.
I'm tired of stepping on crunchy things on the floor.
I'm tired of stepping in sticky things on the floor.
I'm tired of being frustrated--with myself and my Boy.
I'm tired of not wanting to get up in the morning.
I'm tired of looking tired.
I'm tired of not getting my kids in bed at a decent time.
I'm tired of the tantrums that ensue when I don't know what my Boy is talking about.
I'm tired of my bad attitude.
I'm tired of my lack of motivation to change any of these things...

My life is not bad.
My life is actually really good.

And this is why I keep going, despite my tiredness today: 
My Boy is singing his ABCs while I type this.
My Baby Girl is chilling quietly and cutely in her little cradle.
I have good friends.
I just ate an awesome chicken chili that I made.
I was patient with my Boy a time or two today.

My Boy said "Mommy, I just have to wear your pants."
And then he did.




My Honey will be home soon, and I can maybe make it to the gym!
My Baby Girl squeals with delight frequently.
I have naturally curly hair. Well, wavy hair.
My Boy has red hair. My Girl has some red hair too.












I get to stay at home with my kiddos, and be the example that they learn about life from.
My Honey has a job, working for good people, and he likes what he does.

I am healthy.
My family is healthy.
My Boy asks daily to play "The General Conference Game".

My Baby Girl smiles at her big brother.

She smiles at me too.


I have my Honey.












I have my Boy.












I have my Baby Girl.















I am me.
I have the ability to change things about myself that bother me.
I can become better.
I can pray.

I may be tired, but I haven't given up on myself. Those are enough to keep me smiling for now. :)